Faith vs. Fear

Mis queridos amigos y familia!!!

Wow, okay, so this week went by incredibly fast again! Woooo! My mind is blown! I can't even comprehend how time can go so fast! Well, this week was awesome again! I love this new sector! I love being up to the challenge of having to keep finding new investigators. In general, we are progressing. The only thing we would like to work on is to gain more of the trust of the members! There are about 3 or 4 families in the ward and we got along great right away, but I know the rest of the members will just come in time! 

Well, first of all I just want to explain the picture that I just sent to you, Mom, about my last ward's bulletin board! The ward, as we know, is called Clara Estrella, which in English is Clear Star. So Elder Hatch and I more than 6 months ago when we arrived there decided to raise the excitement of the members and we made a cheer. We would just yell out "Clear Star Cuatro Unite!" And then each missionary would run from wherever they were to form our hands into a star. We really wanted the members to see our faith and excitement we had in their ward. Well, in time the 6 months passed and all the members heard us do that all the time. And now Elder Alcaraz just sent me a picture of the new ward bulletin where the members changed Clara Estrella to "Clera Star in honor of Elder Hatch and Elder Cowan!" Woo hoo, we left legends there! And I saw so many miracles in Ochagavia!

But that's not the only place where I have seen miracles in my mission and, as you guys have been reading my letters, I have already seen miracles here in my first three weeks! I can't really think of any specific miracles that we had this week but we almost had one. Like, I'm dead serious, we were ONE second from seeing a miracle. And it was with Alan, who is the investigator that has the problem about getting married. The last week we had a powerful powerful lesson with them. And just a couple of days ago we had a lesson with them again but we really wanted this to be the last time because we don't want to waste our time on people that don't want to get married,

So we passed by them and visited with them when we started talking again about the topic of baptism and how important it is. We then asked each and every one of them why they want to be baptized and why they think its so important. They both answered with great reasons of why they think it's important. And then right after we drilled them of why they haven't gotten married, they kept telling us that they weren't going to get married, but I just got so frustrated with them and demanded them to give me a real reason. Then they both kept coming up with excuse after excuse after excuse. But for every single excuse we were able to rule it out and convince them other ways. It kept going on and on up till the last thing that Alan told us. He had an accident about 6 months ago when he started to have like a muscle paralysis infection on the left side of his body and he can barely walk.

He then went on to tell us that he really wants to recover to 100% until he does anything or rules anything out. He kept saying that the Lord will help him recover fast and he will be able to walk completely fine again. He kept telling us that if the Lord wants them to get baptized and to get married then the Lord will help in his recovering. But inside I knew that was just another excuse, and then I started to think of the priesthood and following through on my impressions from the Holy Ghost it hit me like a wall that I needed to testify to him of the power that we hold. I then looked at Alan in the eye, and asked him if he really did know for sure that the Lord could help him with his health, he responded "yes" to which I threw another question at him and asked if he really had the faith that the Lord could do it. After thinking for some time, he looked up and told me that he does have the faith. At this point of the lesson, being overwhelmed from the Spirit, something that I have NEVER felt before, I declared to Alan, "Hermano, if Jesus Christ could perform miracles to the sick and afflicted through the priesthood who He himself came to establish His church, then why could His same church, just restored, not have that same power and authority today?" He nodded his head in agreement to which I responded to him, "If that is so Hermano, with the priesthood that I hold and according to your faith, I command you to raise and walk!" . . . . . . . . Then it broke into a powerful powerful silence where Elder Kimball and I were both overwhelmed from the Spirit. After a time of silence, I stared into the eyes of that brother with all the faith I had. Alan then decided to move. . . to which he used his crutches to get on his feet. We watched in silence if he was really going to act in faith and take the first step. I whispered to him to not have the fear because faith and fear can't dwell together. After what felt like an eternity, he dropped his crutches . . . just to sit down . . . . 

I know that Alan could have walked, even though he is half paralyzed basically. And I know without a doubt that my companion and I have the holy Melchizedek priesthood and we had the faith to heal this brother . . . but he lacked his own faith. He let the fear in and made the light of his faith diminish. It was really sad to know that if he would have had just one ounce of faith and tried moving his legs he could have been healed. I don't have one single doubt that that could have happened. And that is why I wrote before saying that we were just ONE second from seeing this spectacular miracle. But it is just like Elder Utchdorf and Elder Nelson said in the general conference about how faith and fear can't be in the same room.

Even though we missed that miracle, Sunday in the morning Alan called us and wanted to attend church, so we went in a car and picked him up which was great. And even though he didn't get healed, it was a 100% confirmation to the restoration of this gospel. And even more of a testimony builder to me that I really do have this holy priesthood. What a huge blessing that is. I know without a doubt that just as the scriptures say about how faith can move mountains it IS REAL! Anything is possible with the Lord's help. And I am so grateful for the chance to be His representative only when I am 19 years old. But I know I am called of Him, I know I have His trust and protection over me. I know He loves me and loves these people here in Chile. I am so grateful for my mission! I don't have any more time to write any more stories but I thought you would like to hear that. I hope each and everyone of you and trust in the Lord and offer yourselves to Him. I promise if you do, in that moment He will endow with power upon high. I love each and everyone of you soo much!

Have a great week! 

Love,

Elder Cowan